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1. Crossing the Bar Sunset and evening star And one clear call for me! And may there be no moaning of the bar, When I put out to sea, But such a tide as moving seems asleep, Too full for sound and foam, When that which drew from out the boundless deep Turns again home. Twilight and evening bell, And after that the dark! And may there be no sadness or farewell, When I embark: For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place The flood may bear me far, I hope to see my Pilot face to face When I have crost the bar. Alfred Lord Tennyson
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Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped into the next room I am I and you are you Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, Speak to me in the easy way which you always used Put no difference in your tone, Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, Just around the corner. All is well.
Henry Scott Holland, 1847-1918 Canon of St Paul's Cathedral London | |||
If I should go before the rest of you Break not a flower Nor inscribe a stone Nor when I am gone Speak in a Sunday voice But be the usual selves That I have known Weep if you must Parting is hell But life goes on So .... sing as well
Joyce Grenfell, 1910-1979 | |||
Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there, I do not sleep I am 1,000 winds that blow I am the diamond glints on snow I am the sun on ripened grain I am the gentle autumn rain When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled light I am the soft star that shines at night Do not stand at my grave and cry I am not there; I did not die.
Mary Frye, 1932 | |||
You can shed tears that she is gone, Or you can smile because she has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back, Or you can open your eyes and see all that she’s left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her Or you can be full of the love that you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she’s gone Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back, Or you can do what she’d want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
[anon] Read the funeral of Elizabeth, the Queen Mother | |||
I am Not Gone I am not gone, I am changed. Have faith and please believe me. God did not take me away from you, He split the skies and received me. Now… I’m an echo in your laughter, a reflection in your tears, an extra thread of strength to help you overcome your fears. I’m an added ray of sunshine, more joy for you to share, a fragrance of the life you live. Wherever you are—I am there.
Terri McPherson (2002) | |||
In the time of daffodils (who know the goal of living is to grow) forgetting why, remember how
in time of lilacs who proclaim the aim of waking is to dream remember so (forgetting seem) in time of roses (who amaze our now and here with paradise) forgetting if, remember yes in time of all sweet things beyond whatever mind may comprehend remember seek (forgetting find) and in a mystery to be (when time from time shall set us free) forgetting me, remember me
e e cummings 1894-1962 | |||
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth, And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings; Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth, Of sun-split clouds – and done a hundred things You have not dreamed of – wheeled and soared and swung High in the sunlit silence, hovering there, I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung My eager craft through footless halls of air … Up, up the long, delirious burning blue I’ve topped the windswept heights with easy grace, Where never lark, or even eagle flew – And, while with silent lifting mind I’ve trod, The high un-trespassed sanctity of space, Put out my hand and touched the face of God.
Fl. Officer John Gillespie McGee, 1922-1941 | |||
"I'll lend you for a little time A child of Mine." He said. "For you to love the while he lives And mourn for when he's dead. It may be six or seven year Or twenty-two or three But will you, till I call him back Take care of him for Me? He'll bring his charms to gladden you And should his stay be brief, You'll have his lovely memories As solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay Since all from Earth return, But there are lessons taught down there I want the child to learn. I've looked this wide world over In my search for teacher's true, And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you; Now will you give him all your love, Nor think the labour vain Nor hate Me when I come to call And take him back again?
I fancied that I heard them say, "Dear Lord, They will be done, For all the joy Thy child shall bring, For the risk of grief we'll run. We'll shelter him with tenderness, We'll love him while we may, And for the happiness we've known, Forever grateful stay. But should the angels call for him Much sooner than we planned, We'll brave the bitter grief that comes And try to understand."
[anon] | |||
Farewell to Thee! But not farewell To all my fondest thoughts of Thee; Within my heart they still shall dwell And they shall cheer and comfort me.
Life seems more sweet that Thou didst live And men more true Thou wert one; Nothing is lost that Thou didst give, Nothing destroyed that Thou hast done.
Anne Bronte, 1820-1849 | |||
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; For those whom thou think'st thou dost over throw Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me. From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be, Much pleasure - then, from thee much more must flow; And soonest our best men with thee do go, Rest of their bones and soul's delivery. Thou'rt slave to fate, chance, kings and desperate men, And dost with poison, war and sickness dwell; And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well, And better than thy stroke. Why swell'st thou then? One short sleep past, we wake eternally, And death shall be no more. Death thou shalt die.
John Donne, 1572-1631 | |||
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead. Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one, Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods; For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W. H. Auden 1907-73 | |||
I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one. I'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done. I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways. Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days. I'd like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun. Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.
[anon] | |||
I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth... and now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own; the cars....the house...the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard... are there things you'd like to change? For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough to consider what's true and real, and always try to understand the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger, and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect, and more often wear a smile... remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read with your life's actions to rehash... would you be proud of the things they say about how you spend your dash?
Linda Ellis, 1996 | |||
15. Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rage at the close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas, 1914-1953 | |||
16. Sweetest Love, I do not go
Sweetest love, I do not go, For weariness of thee, Nor in hope the world can show A fitter love for me; But since that I Must die at last, 'tis best To use myself in jest Thus by feign'd deaths to die.
Yesternight the sun went hence, And yet is here today; He hath no desire nor sense, Nor half so short a way: Then fear not me, But believe that I shall make Speedier journeys, since I take More wings and spurs than he.
O how feeble is man's power, That if good fortune fall, Cannot add another hour, Nor a lost hour recall! But come bad chance, And we join to'it our strength, And we teach it art and length, Itself o'er us to'advance.
When thou sigh'st, thou sigh'st not wind, But sigh'st my soul away; When thou weep'st, unkindly kind, My life's blood doth decay. It cannot be That thou lov'st me, as thou say'st, If in thine my life thou waste, That art the best of me.
Let not thy divining heart Forethink me any ill; Destiny may take thy part, And may thy fears fulfil; But think that we Are but turn'd aside to sleep; They who one another keep Alive, ne'er parted be.
John Donne, 1572-1631 | |||
Farewell, thou art too dear for my possessing, And like enough thou know'st thy estimate. The charter of thy worth gives thee releasing; My bonds in thee are all determinate. For how do I hold thee but by thy granting, And for that riches where is my deserving? The cause of this fair gift in me is wanting, And so my patent back again is swerving. Thyself thou gav'st, thy own worth then not knowing, Or me, to whom thou gav'st it, else mistaking; So thy great gift, upon misprision growing, Comes home again, on better judgment making. Thus have I had thee as a dream doth flatter: In sleep a king, but waking no such matter.
William Shakespeare, 1564-1616 | |||
One night I dreamed a dream. I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.
"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."
Margaret Fishback Powers, 1964 | |||
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone! "Gone where?" Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!" And that is dying.
Henry van Dyke | |||
Along the shore I spy a ship As she sets out to sea; She spreads her sails and sniffs the breeze And slips away from me.
I watch her fading image shrink, As she moves on and on, Until at last she’s but a speck, Then someone says, “She’s gone.”
Gone where? Gone only from our sight And from our farewell cries; That ship will somewhere reappear To other eager eyes.
Beyond the dim horizon’s rim Resound the welcome drums, And while we’re crying, “There she goes! ”They’re shouting, “Here she comes!”
John T. Baker | |||
We give them back to you, O Lord, Who first gave them to us; And as you did not lose them in the giving, So we do not lose them in the return.
Not as the world gives do you give, O lover of souls. For what is yours is ours also, If we belong to you.
Life is unending because love is undying, And the boundaries of this life are but an horizon, And an horizon is but the limit of our vision.
Lift us up, strong Son of God, That we may see further. Strengthen our faith that we may see beyond the horizon.
And while you prepare a place for us, As you have promised, Prepare us also for that happy place; That where you are, we may be also, With those we have loved, for ever.
Bede Jarrett | |||
Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village, though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there's some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.
Robert Frost, 1874-1963 | |||
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost, 1874-1963 | |||
24. Dying in order to live more fully
I believe in death. I believe that it is part of life.
I believe that we are born to die, To die that we may live more fully; Born to die a little each day To selfishness To pretence, And to sin.
I believe that every time we pass From one stage of life to another, Something in us dies And something new is born.
I believe we taste death In moments of loneliness, rejection, Sorrow, disappointment, and failure.
I believe that we are dying before our time When we live in bitterness, In hatred, And in isolation.
I believe that each day We are creating our own death By the way we live.
For those with faith, Death is not extinguishing the light; It is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.
[anon] | |||
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself. The fact that I think I am following your will Does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you Does in fact please you, And I hope I have that desire In all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do Anything apart from that desire. I know that if I do this You will lead me by the right road, Though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, Though I may seem to be lost And in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me. You will never leave me To face my perils alone.
Thomas Merton | |||
Night is coming on. The last birds fly hurriedly to their nests. Slowly but surely darkness takes possession of the world. However, no sooner has darkness fallen, Than the lights begin to come on – Below us, around us, above us, Near us and far away from us – A candle in a window, a lamp in a cellar, A beacon in a lighthouse, a star in the sky. And so we take heart and find our way again.
When a good person dies darkness descends on us. We feel lost, bereft, forlorn. But gradually the lights begin to come on As we recall the good deeds done by the deceased. They spring up all over the place. We are amazed at how much light is generated. In this strange and beautiful light We not only find our way But find the meaning of life itself.
[anon] | |||
Light a candle for those we mourn. Into a new life they will be born. Do not look for them at the gravesite. They are somewhere else radiating their beautiful light. They have gone to a new world where there is no darkness, no pain. Their light and essence will always remain. Light a candle for those who have left this mortal place. They are free to travel through time and space. When we think of them, they are near. When we sit in a beautiful garden. Their voices we hear. When we listen to a divine symphony, We close our eyes, their faces we see. Light a candle for they have not really gone. With each flickering flame, in your hearts they will always belong.
A. Pell, 2005 | |||
We little knew that morning that God was going to all your name, In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone, For part of us went with you, the day God called you home. You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide, And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side. Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same, But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.
[unknown] | |||
When I am gone, release me, let me go. I have so many things to see and do. You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears, Be thankful for our beautiful years.
I gave to you my love. You can only guess how much you gave to me in happiness. I thank you for the love you have shown, But now it's time I traveled on alone.
So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must, Then let your grief be comforted by trust. It's only for a time that we must part So bless the memories within your heart.
I won't be far away, for life goes on So if you need me, call, and I will come. Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear All my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you must come this way alone, I'll greet you with a smile, and say: " Welcome Home," Welcome Home"!
[anon] | |||
Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye Cheerio – here I go – on my way Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye Not a tear – but a cheer – make it gay Give me a smile I can keep for awhile In my heart while I'm away Till we meet once again – you and I Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye.
Vera Lynn 1917- | |||
Do not waste time regretting the things you cannot mend Anticipate good fortune at every twist and bend Keep going, never doubting the outcomes of your dreams Have faith in their fulfillment, though dark the future seems Believe that somewhere, somehow, God's purpose will unfold And the grey horizons be turned to blue and gold Give thanks for every blessing, your job, your home, your friends Don’t take things for granted A grateful spirit lends a glory and a meaning to pathways ahead Expect a bright tomorrow and turn towards the sun.
[anon] | |||
32. 'Death' from 'The Prophet'
Then Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death." And he said: You would know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life? The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one. In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor. Is the sheered not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king? Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling? For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered? Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
Khalil Gibran, 1883-1931 | |||
God looked around his garden And He found an empty place. And then He looked down upon the earth, And saw your tired face. He put His arms around you, And lifted you to rest. God's garden must be beautiful, He always takes the best. He knew that you were suffering, He knew you were in pain, He knew that you would never Get well on earth again. He saw the road was getting rough, And the hills were hard to climb, So He closed your weary eyelids, And whispered "Peace be thine." It broke our hearts to lose you. But you didn't go alone, For part of us went with you, The day God called you home.
[anon] | |||
As far from pity as complaint, As cool to speech as stone, As numb to revelation As if my trade were bone.
As far from time as history, As near yourself to-day As children to the rainbow's scarf, Or sunset's yellow play
To eyelids in the sepulchre. How still the dancer lies, While color's revelations break, And blaze the butterflies!
Emily Dickinson, 1830–1886 | |||
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free I'm following the path God has laid you see. I took His hand when I heard him call I turned my back and left it all. I could not stay another day To laugh, to love, to work, to play. Tasks left undone must stay that way I found that peace at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void Then fill it with remembered joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss Oh yes, these things I too will miss. Be not burdened with times of sorrow I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow. My life's been full, I savoured much Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief Don't lengthen it now with undue grief. Lift up your hearts, and peace to thee God wanted me now; He set me free.
[anon] | |||
Our revels now are ended. These our actors, As I foretold you, were all spirits, and Are melted into air, into thin air; And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces, The solemn temples, the great globe itself, Yes, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, And, like the insubstantial pageant faded, Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff As dreams are made of; and our little life Is rounded with a sleep.
William Shakespeare, 1564-1616 | |||
37. From 'The Book of the Dead'
As each day ends may I have lived, That I may truly say: I did no harm to human kind, From truth I did not stray; I did no wrong with knowing mind, From evil I did keep; I turned no hungry person away, I caused no one to weep.
Ancient Egypt (ca. 4500 BC) | |||
When I come to the end of the road And the sun has set for me I want no tears in a gloom filled room Why cry for a soul set free
Miss me a little but not too long And not with your head bowed low Remember the love that once we shared Miss me – but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take And for each must go alone It's all a part of a bigger plan A step on the road to home And when you are lonely and sick of heart Go to the friends we know And bury your tears in their loving arms Miss me – but let me go.
[unknown] | |||
To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; No more; and, by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause. There’s the respect That makes calamity of so long life; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely, The pangs of dispriz’d love, the law’s delay, The insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscover’d country from whose bourn No traveller returns, puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all .
William Shakespeare, 1564-1616 | |||
40. 'Little Gidding' from 'The Four Quartets'
We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one.
T. S. Eliot 1888-1965 | |||
41. The Tide Rises, The Tide Falls
The tide rises, the tide falls, The twilight darkens, the curlew calls; Along the sea-sands damp and brown The traveler hastens toward the town, And the tide rises, the tide falls. Darkness settles on roofs and walls, But the sea, the sea in darkness calls; The little waves, with their soft, white hands Efface the footprints in the sands, And the tide rises, the tide falls. The morning breaks; the steeds in their stalls Stamp and neigh, as the hostler calls; The day returns, but nevermore Returns the traveler to the shore. And the tide rises, the tide falls
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 1807-1882 | |||
Remember me when I am gone away Gone far away into the silent land When you can no more hold me by the hand Nor I half turn to go – yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day You tell me of our future that you planned Only remember me. You understand It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while And afterwards remember - do not grieve. For if the darkness and corruption leave A vestige of the thoughts that once I had, Better by far you should forget and smile Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Georgina Rossetti 1830–94 | |||
They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies. Nor can spirits ever be divided that love and live in the same divine principle: the root and record of their friendship. If absence be not death, neither is theirs. Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the sea; ...they live for one another still. This is the comfort of friends: that though they may be said to die, yet their friendship and society are, in the best sense immortal, because they are everpresent." William Penn | |||
